Hard at work while looking flawless, Miranda Kerr was spotted doing a photo shoot for UK Vogue Magazine earlier today (January 30). The Aussie supermodel sported a white bikini while posing on the back of a vintage wooden speedboat at Sydney Harbor in Sydney, Australia. Prior to the photo session, Miranda tweeted, “Have a great day everyone! I’m off to work to shoot uk vogue xxx.” And coming up on February 15th, Ms. Kerr will be back in Sydney for the David Jones 2012 Autumn/Winter Launch. She’ll walk the runway at the newly-refurbished On Seven along with Samantha Harris, Nicole Trunfio, Alexandra Agoston, and Montana Cox.

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Miranda Kerr: Sydney Harbor Photo Shoot Sexy!

CB has been doing most of the coverage of Jennifer Lopez and her facially-challenged boy-toy, Casper Smart, but I just had to chime in when I looked through these photos. These pics are of Jennifer in Miami, doing a “steamy” (oily?) photo shoot with Mario Testino. Casper was at the photo shoot, of course, because he basically has nothing else going on in his life other than following J.Lo around. Paparazzi managed to get lots of photos of Jennifer “posing” for Testino, and in between set-ups, the paparazzi caught all of these “candids” of Jennifer and Fubar. You know what? I’m kind of done making excuses for her? Even at her worst, I can usually find some love for the diva-monster hurricane that is J.Lo, but Casper is one facially-challenged move too far. I think I would be able to overlook her need to take some young, dumb lover… if only he had actually been attractive. But Jennifer is got young, dumb and fug. And I just don’t see how she’s that bad off? That’s such a massive downgrade, I can’t even start. Like, I don’t even think Kirstie Alley would want Casper. Yet here’s Jennifer, making lovey-dovey faces at this meathead. By the way, I swallowed my dry heaves and checked out Casper’s Twitter feed , the one he used to defend his love with Jennifer. In one tweet to a friend, he mentions what he’s been doing lately, which is “choreographing” and “been in acting classes.” OH GOD. That’s what’s next, isn’t it? Jennifer is going to get him a job in one of her movies. Photos courtesy of Fame.

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Jennifer Lopez & facially challenged Casper Smart are loved up in Miami: gross?

Do you know how hot I used to be for Russell Crowe? This was back before Gladiator even came out. I was hot for Russell when I saw LA Confidential . BUD WHITE!!! God, I love that movie. And Big Russ was super-hot in it, in a man’s man kind of way, but he was also vulnerable and interesting, like a young Marlon Brando. Then of course came Gladiator, and every lady in the world wanted to ride his jock. And then he gained some weight and barely worked, and when he did work, his girth (and not the good girth) was always a topic of conversation. Well, Russell has lost the weight – these are new photos of Not-So-Big Russ at the Australian Academy of Cinema and Television Arts Awards on Friday, in LA. I haven’t seen new photos of Crowe in months and months, it feels like. He looks… good? But maybe not? I don’t know, I can’t decide. I had gotten so used to seeing the bigger Russell, to the point where I kind of liked the extra meat on him. Plus, I think his skin looks weird, like he overdid the foundation. Basically, I’m glad that he’s trying out a maybe healthier lifestyle/diet, but he also looks a bit sickly to me now. So, here are the questions: would you still hit it? Would you have ever hit it? Would you be more likely to hit it now, or back when he was in the midst of a love affair with ice cream? Oh, and in case you miss seeing a random, beefy, hairy Australian, I threw in a photo of Joel Edgerton at the same event. He’s been hit with Russell Crowe Syndrome – hard. I hope it’s for a role? Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet, WENN.

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Russell Crowe lost weight, found makeup: would you still hit it?

These are some new photos of Katy Perry during her first post-split red carpet appearance on Friday, in Las Vegas. The dude that she’s hanging on is Markus Molinari, a jewelry designer and one of the hosts of the charity event, which benefited Haitian earthquake victims. Bedhead has been covering a lot of Katy Perry news lately, including Friday’s story about Katy’s alleged cocaine use , and how that cocaine-soaked party lifestyle is one of the big reasons why Katy and Russell Brand split up. God knows if it’s true, but it has been interesting to see which stories Camp Brand and Camp Perry have been pushing in the media – it feels like both of them really want to come out of this divorce with public sympathy on their side. So, I guess it’s pretty smart for Katy to make her first red carpet appearance for charity, and to be notably “quiet” at the event: Back in the United States to see friends and support a charity, Katy Perry strolled down a red carpet for the first time since her split with Russell Brand. The singer rocked her blue hair and donned a cocktail dress with metal studs at the overnight Friday event for Givelove.org, which provides sustainable low-income solutions Haiti earthquake victims. Markus Molinari, a designer for J. Molinari Jewelry, told PEOPLE that Perry was doing “amazing” and she was in town to support his cause because “that’s what friends do.” At the event at the 1 OAK club in the Mirage Hotel, Perry hung out in a VIP booth and watched her pal Ferras perform. “She was really tame,” a source said. “She was really just drinking a few drinks and chilling with her friends.” Earlier, Perry went to Stack restaurant, joining a table of 18 and dining on steak, seafood and red wine and listening to another performance by Ferras on the piano. Perry was seen clapping, cheering and swinging a napkin the air. The singer is back from doing shows in the Philippines and Indonesia. [From People ] Obviously, Katy and Russell will both “bounce back” after the divorce. My prediction for Russell is a series of random, Gerard-Butler-style hookups with any girl that will have him, followed by a second marriage with someone on the sobriety track. Unfortunately, I think Katy is going to spend some time post-divorce spiraling out of control. Before she and Russell even split up, she announced that she was going to take some time off – I think she’s going to spend the next year partying, getting wasted and making some really bad decisions. We’ll see, though. Oh, and Paris Hilton was at this event too – I’m including photos of her because A) Katy and Paris Hilton at the same event says a lot about the event and B) Look at Paris’s wonk eye!!!!!!! Photos courtesy of WENN.

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Katy Perry does her first red carpet appearance since her split: sympathetic?

(OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) In case you missed it, I already wrote one story about Michael Fassbender earlier today . It’s always a good (slow) day when I get to write about Fassy twice! So, in addition to his pale, shirtless, Fassdongy hotness on the cover of The Hollywood Reporter , Fassy also appeared on The Late Show With David Letterman last night. I’m including some photos of Fassy from outside of the Ed Sullivan Theater (at the end of the post), and I’ve included a decent video of the interview below. You know how much I love Fassy in motion, right? But he needed some face powder, and he needs to grow out his hair a little bit. Still, I would nail it to the wall. Just sayin’. Gah. His accent. His shark smile! His tight jeans. His bulge. DAMN IT FASSY I’m trying to work here. I think he did well with Letterman – there’s a bit of the naughty schoolboy to Michael, and it seemed like Letterman was trying to really talk about Shame with more seriousness than Fassy wanted to get into. Which isn’t to say that Fassy won’t really talk about the issues that Shame brings to the table – he will and he has. In another recent interview, Fassy really talked about sexual addiction and what the Brandon character is going through. The piece is Michael’s Interview Magazine cover story for the February issue, which is now online. Josh Broling did the interview – they worked together on Jonah Hex, and it seems like they’re bros. I’m not going to excerpt the interview – you can read the whole thing here , and I hope that you do. It’s a good piece! I will include the photos from Interview Mag, because… um…oh… what was I saying? OH CRAP. I just saw this – Fassy did a shirtless photo shoot for W Magazine too!!!!!! Jesus, somebody’s Oscar campaign is in full swing, right? And by “full swing” I mean “Michael Fassbender has an enormous penis, and he will swing it around to get votes for Best Actor.” DEAR GOD the photo where he’s just wearing a sheet? I need to take off my pants right now. NO! I’ll use it as the header image. If you want to read Fassy’s W Magazine interview, go here . Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame, W Magazine and Interview Mag.

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Michael Fassbender will do anything you need him to do for his Oscar campaign

Can you believe this is cover image Allure Magazine chose? For real, Allure? Granted, Zooey Deschanel is “quirky” and she’s a “funny girl”. But that’s not a good enough excuse for putting this photo of her ON THE COVER! Anyway, Zooey is on the cover of Allure because she has gotten a career resurgence with The New Girl – she’d always been a relatively in-demand actress, often in independent films or part of an ensemble in bigger movies, but now she’s got a hit show on Fox, and everybody is paying attention to her. Honestly, I was never much of a fan until The New Girl. Now I give her a pass on most of the stuff that used to annoy me, although I would love for her to do something different with her hair. Yes, I take issue with the bangs, but mostly I just want to get all of her hair out of her face – but Zooey seems to think that “bangs and eyes” are her signature. Here are some highlights from Zooey’s Allure interview : Zooey’s signature: “I’m bangs and eyes,” she says. “It’s who I am. There have been periods when I’ve grown my bangs out, but I always cut them back, so it’s like, why go through the trouble?” She’s a lot like her New Girl character: “Because I have brown hair and a low voice, I would get cast as dry, sarcastic, ironic people, which I can do, but it’s not my sense of humor. I’m a very positive person. I get excited easily, and I like to jump around.” She doesn’t read gossip: “I can’t go on Gawker. I actually think the writing is really funny, but there is a chance that somebody is undercutting me,” she says. Criticism about her “overly girlish” style: Deschanel has both worshipful fans and snarky critics who find her overly girlish. Her defense? “If you feel like dressing like a girl, there’s nothing wrong with that. I don’t know why femininity should be associated with weakness. Women should be free to express who they are without thinking, I need to act like a man, or I need to tone it down to be successful. That’s a very good way to keep women down,” she says. She’s not an obsessive dieter: While Deschanel watches her weight by sticking to a diet of vegetables, grains, and proteins, she isn’t obsessed. “Some people around me, they’re like 89 pounds,” she says. “I’m not going to say I’m a big girl. I’m a very small person, but I’m a healthy weight. That might be a little weird for Hollywood.” It Girl status: Deschanel finds irony in the label “It” girl. “‘It’ girl is supposed to be something that only lasts a certain amount of time,” she says. “They keep calling me an ‘It’ girl, and at this point it makes me laugh, because they’ve done that so many times: ‘You’re it’; ‘you’re not it.’ What is ‘it’?” Being bullied in school: “Girls spit in my face. People were so mean to me. I’d cry every day.” She went to Northwestern University briefly: “I went to Northwestern because I had gone to a really nontraditional high school. I was like, ‘It’d be cool to have a traditional college experience,’” Deschanel, 32, explains. “Then I was like, ‘Oh, but none of these people understand what’s cool about me. My specialness is not appreciated in this place.’” Straddling mainstream and outsider status: “I’ve always straddled a weird line — there’s a lot of mainstream stuff that I love. At the same, I still feel like an outsider. I’m the outsider who’s on the inside.” [From Allure & Us Weekly ] I do like that Zooey isn’t pin-thin – she’s been in some short skirts and some lingerie in The New Girl, and I was surprised to see how lovely and healthy her figure really is – she looks like a girl who eats healthy most of the time and stays active, but really isn’t obsessed with it. It’s nice. As for the whole “My specialness is not appreciated in this place” – is she serious? Or is she making fun of herself at the age of 18? Because one of the great things about college is that you’re away from home and you learn that you’re not a beautiful, special and unique flower, you know? Maybe she was joking. Photos courtesy of Allure .

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Zooey Deschanel: “I don’t know why femininity should be associated with weakness”

Lindsay Lohan is due in court today. Apparently, everything is going down at 10 am PST, which is 1 pm EST, or any minute now. You can see the live feed here at TMZ . I’m not expecting much, and as such, I plan to make my way to the gym this afternoon. Thus, you can treat this post like your “Linnocent Open Post” and discuss all things “breaking news.” According to both Radar and TMZ, LL is doing okay with her structured probation , although the hint of the old crackie is still coming through: Lindsay Lohan will once again face a judge in Los Angeles Tuesday morning for a progress report related to her probation for separate drunken driving and shoplifting cases. The hearing, scheduled to begin at approximately 10am PST, is expected to be like her last court appearance — short and without any surprises. The Mean Girls star, 25, has been working at the L.A. County Morgue and attending psychotherapy sessions in accordance with the terms of her probation — and most importantly, she’s been staying out of trouble. As RadarOnline.com has previously reported last year, after Lohan repeatedly slacked off on her probation, a clearly fed-up Superior Court Judge Stephanie Sautner imposed a series of tough new rules last November, including monthly updates with the court. At that time, Judge Sautner warned the troubled actress that if, during any of the monthly progress hearings, it was determined she was not in compliance with the terms of her probation, she would be sent back to jail — for 270 days. Meanwhile, Lindsay’s comeback continues: after her photo spread in Playboy, she’s now in line to play the late Elizabeth Taylor in a Lifetime movie about the legendary actress, although Megan Fox is also said to be in talks for the coveted role. [From Radar ] Yes, this is how LL spends her days. She works at the morgue a few times a month, she goes to therapy, she parties at the Marmont, she hangs out with Kim Kardashian at a post-Globes party, and she leaks information about her “jobs” to TMZ and Radar. At the same time E! News revealed that Megan Fox was also up for the Elizabeth Taylor role in that Lifetime movie , LL was telling TMZ that she totally signing on for the part. Lindsay Lohan is ready to sign on to play Liz Taylor, and she’s going to complete her community service faster than required to clear the decks for shooting the flick. Lindsay — who will appear in court at 10 AM PT for her probation progress hearing — is in the final stages of negotiating the deal — this according to sources very close to the actress/perpetual defendant. We’re told the plan is to sign the deal early next week. And we’re told … Lindsay is actually getting more scripts than she’s received in years — apparently producers have noticed she’s finally showing some maturity. As for today … as we first reported Lindsay has completed the required morgue work and psychotherapy sessions. If all goes well, she’ll be off probation at the end of March. [From TMZ ] “…According to sources very close to the actress/perpetual defendant.” LOL. “According to one of the crackhead/crack-model’s drug buddies/Mother Crack, The Cracken is going to sign on to a Lifetime movie! FOR REAL.” Pathetic. But seriously, I’m not expecting any fireworks for today’s hearing, so just enjoy these photos of LL at the post-Globes party. I’ll update if anything goes down. UPDATE: Yeah, the progress report went well . TMZ reports that Judge Sautner “gushed that Lindsay’s probation officer had written a glowing probation report.” The judge also said, “Keep doing what you’re doing. You appear to be doing very well.” LL’s next court date is February 22nd – will she be back to her old crackie ways by then? If Lindsay stays on track — like she’s been doing — her probation will end on March 29th. Photos courtesy of Fame and WENN.

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Lindsay Lohan Open Post: The Cracken is due in court for her progress report

Personally, I like the word “bitch.” I think most women feel the word has been reclaimed from “something derogatory men would say about women” to “something women say about themselves, a word that denotes fierceness and awesomeness.” I’m a bitch. And you probably are too, especially since you’re on a site called Celebitchy. Now, just because “bitch” has been “reclaimed” doesn’t mean that the old, derogatory “bitch” name-calling still doesn’t happen. Frequently. For example, rap lyrics are full of misogyny (and homophobia, and racism, and everything else). But from here on out, Jay-Z wants us to know that we are no longer bitches to him. Now that he has a daughter, he will never use the word “bitch.” He wrote a poem about it. For real. Jay-Z has vowed to drop the word “bitch” from his lyrics after the birth of his daughter Blue Ivy Carter. The rapper, who celebrated the birth of his first child with wife Beyonce earlier this month, has released a poem dedicated to his daughter in which he promises never to drop the word “bitch” again. In the poem, the rapper writes: “Before I got in the game, made a change, and got rich/I didn’t think hard about using the word bitch/I rapped, I flipped it, I sold it, I lived it/Now with my daughter in this world I curse those that give it”. He also goes on to swear he will protect her and that the “degradation has passed”. He writes: “No man will degrade her, or call her name. I’m so focused on your future, the degradation has passed. I wish you wealth, health and insight. Forever young you may pass. Blue Ivy Carter, my angel”. Blue Ivy Carter became the youngest person ever to be credited on the US Billboard chart last week. Jay-Z released a new track earlier this week which is titled ‘Glory’ and is dedicated to his daughter. The track features her coos and cries, for which she is officially credited and entered the Billboard Chart at Number 74, the highest new entry on the chart this week. [ From NME ] It’s interesting that it took the birth of his daughter to change Jay’s bitch-calling ways and not his marriage to Beyonce. Married to Bey? Women are still bitches. Fathering a daughter? NO MORE BITCHES. Whatever, I don’t really care. I’m too old to be prickled by insensitive rap lyrics, so it doesn’t make any difference to me. Of course, I’m currently on a mission to reclaim the C-bomb. I’m totally a C-bomb too. Photos courtesy of Fame.

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Jay-Z isn’t going to use the word “bitch” now that has a daughter

On “Kourtney and Kim take New York” they claim the segment below, in which Kim complains about Kris Humphries, was filmed in Dubai in mid October before Kim filed for divorce. The photos above, from the photo agency Pacific Coast News, show Kim and Kris exiting a television studio carrying and wearing those exact same outfits on December 6. I feel like this story may have gotten lost and eclipsed by Golden Globe coverage and I wanted to give it some play. Kim Kardashian and her mother, Kris, were very clearly busted filming a segment for “Kourtney and Kim Take New York” in which they claimed to be in Dubai but were stateside in LA. It’s common knowledge that these people fake scenes and entire plotlines for their show, so that may sound like it’s not a big deal. The faked scene was filmed in December, though, as evidenced by the photos above showing Kim and Kris leaving a TV studio wearing and carrying the outfits they were filmed in. They claim that the scene took place in a car Dubai in October, before Kim filed for divorce from Kris Humphries after a whopping 72 days. In the segment, Kim goes on to her mom about how she has a bad feeling about her marriage and how it’s not working out. She says she doesn’t want to return home from “Dubai,” to her new man and that “ there’s something in my relationship that I feel like it’s right .” Then they very obviously use a voice over in which Kim’s nasty nasally voice is softened. She insinuates that there’s something going on behind the scenes that she’s not telling us about Kris H. She says in the voice over “ I’m just like learning a lot of things about him that I didn’t really know before and I don’t know married life isn’t just what I thought it would be with him. ” Kris counsels her that it’s not normal not to want to go home to your husband. Kim was in Dubai in mid October. She filed for divorce from Kris H. on October 31st. By December the Kardashians were really feeling the PR fallout from Kim’s divorce, so they filmed this crap to make it seem like Kim thought about it for more than two seconds before she filed. Here’s more, from Reality Tea: The photos you’re seeing above of Kim and pimpmomager Kris Jenner were taken on December 6, 2011. The photo agency which snapped the pics stated Kim and Kris were leaving a studio in Los Angeles. Does Kim outfit look familiar? It should because Kim is sporting the same exact outfit, same hairstyle and same makeup as she did in a scene that aired on KKTNY last Sunday which according to E! was filmed in Dubai… in October… weeks before Kim pulled the plug on her marriage. In the scene, Kim tries to garner sympathy [and] appear remorseful as she tells her mom she is having marital issues with hubby Kris. There’s only one problem folks: Kim filed for divorce on October 31 and it appears that “Dubai” scene was actually taped in Los Angeles on Dec. 6. Still having doubts? Well, feel free to check out the outfit Kris’ assistant is carrying behind her. Ding ding ding! It’s the SAME “Dubai” outfit plus Kris is still wearing the same earrings. Wowzers. So this proves the Kardashians’ shows are as phony as the Kardashians. Furthermore, Kim and Kris actually filmed this scene last month to not only try to fool their audience, but to also try to make Kim a victim. Unfortunately for Kris Humphries, he didn’t get a chance to go back and film phony scenes to help his image. [From Reality Tea , original story credit: Kardashapointed ] Meanwhile Radar is reporting that Kim dictated to Kris Humphries exactly how to propose to her so that it could be captured for his show. She had it down to the lighting in the room for filming purposes. Kris made some suggestions “ because he wanted it to be very intimate and romantic, but all of his ideas were shot down by production officials and Kim .” I’m not team anyone because I think Kris is an idiot too, he would have to be to get with Kim and marry her. On some level he’s probably hugely relieved to no longer have to deal with her family and that reality show. There are actual fans of the Kardashians who believe the timelines and scenarios they present on their shows. I’m sure the fans are few and far between as of late, but there are real people who are going to be disappointed with this news. The rest of us will just gloat and wait. Here’s Kim wearing some super high waisted jeans and looking very orange on 1-12-12. She’s outside Barney’s here. Credit: Revolutionpix/FameFlynet Pictures

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Kim Kardashian busted filming scene in Dec she claims is in Oct, where she’s the victim

Here are some shots from Lindsay Lohan’s ad campaign for Philipp Plein, the one that she shot in September in Italy, in between escort gigs. Allegedly, LL got paid $500,000 – for the ad campaign, and likely to “date” Philipp Plein for a week while he “promoted” her and his brand. I have to say – I saw some of the candids from this photo shoot, and my expectations were pretty low, but these aren’t terrible. They’re much better quality than I was expecting, except that there’s only so much Photoshop that you can use to de-crackify that face. Also – look at LL’s mouth in the shot where she’s wearing red. You can really see her jacked crack teeth. This campaign was shot before she got her teeth “fixed.” Meanwhile, LL is embroiled in a new scandal. She got high for three years and forgot to file her taxes in 2009. Oh, Cracken. Lindsay Lohan has a brand new $93,000 problem — because the federal government claims the actress never paid her 2009 income tax … and now Uncle Sam is finally out to collect. According to official documents filed in Los Angeles, the Internal Revenue Service has obtained a lien against Lohan for $93,701.57 for failure to pay her federal income tax. 2009 wasn’t a very lucrative year for Lohan … she only released one crappy made-for-TV movie, coupled with a few minor TV appearances. Now, if Lohan refuses to pay the debt … the government can go after anything that belongs to her … including homes, cars and bank accounts … assuming she has any of those things. We called Lohan for comment — so far, no response. [From TMZ ] She’ll pay. She’s got Philipp Plein and Playboy money burning a whole in her pocket, so she’s got the funds. The funds will dry up, though. Very quickly. The question I have, though, is about who exactly “forgot” to file her taxes? Because you know LL has never sat down and tried to do it herself – surely she has an accountant? Surely Mother Crackhead – Linnocent’s MANAGER – would be on top of stuff like “filing tax returns.” Right? Photos courtesy of Philipp Plein .

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Lindsay Lohan’s Philipp Plein ad campaign: busted, trashy or better than expected?