These are photos of Nicole Kidman arriving in the South of France yesterday. Her new film, The Paperboy , debuts at the Cannes Film Festival on Thursday, and I’m expecting more photos of Nicole throughout the next few days. The Paperboy also stars Zac Efron, which… I mean… really? Nicole the Botox-Monster and Zac Efron, Permanent Jailbait (yes, I know he’s of age but his face always says “jailbait” to me). The film is being described in some quarters as an “explosive sexual thriller” . I tried reading the (spoiler-ridden) Wiki synopsis of the book , but I got kind of confused as to who does what. Oh, and the film also stars Matthew McConaughey and John Cusack. Maybe Nicole gets it on with one of them (hopefully?). But for now, let’s talk about Nicole’s new look. And by that I mean BANGS. I’ve been confused before with some ladies’ bangs – I have a hard time figuring out if some women are wearing clip-on bangs or if they actually chopped their hair into some kind of traumatic situation. I don’t know what Nicole is doing, but I suspect this is her real hair and she really did give herself bangs. Now, Nicole has done bangs to varying degrees of success in the past – the best of which (in my opinion) was back when she was styling herself like Brigitte Bardot, and the bangs added to her kittenishness. This current look, however, is kind of… not all that. I realize that she probably just got off the plane, etc. But how are these limp, flat-ironed-looking bangs somehow preferable to a simple bun or ponytail? And I don’t even want to talk about her lips anymore. Those slugs are so depressing. I swear, they are as bad as Lindsay Lohan’s. Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

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Nicole Kidman arrives in France, debuts new bangsy hairstyle: cute or awful?

Before we start in on The Cracken’s latest, you definitely need to go check out THESE PHOTOS at The Mail . Lindsay Lohan has already begun fittings for Liz & Dick, and The Mail does a side-by-side comparison of Elizabeth Taylor’s magnificence next to The Cracken’s busted hooker face. It’s pretty rough. Anyway, Lifetime’s Liz & Dick begins production in a few weeks (or sooner). And they still don’t have a Dick. That’s right, Richard Burton has not been cast, despite all of our quality casting suggestions , ranging from Eddie Cibrian to Wilmer Valderrama to Charlie Sheen. But Lindsay is still playing the diva, demanding that they need to find her a better Dick. Lindsay Lohan is extremely unhappy with the casting choices of the male actors who have auditioned for the role of Richard Burton in the Elizabeth Taylor Lifetime biopic, and filming is scheduled to begin in just a few weeks, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting. As we previously reported, the decision to cast Lohan as the screen icon has drawn criticism from Rosie O’Donnell who recently said, “I feel very sorry for her. I think she needs a lot of time away. … She’s had a lot of trouble doing every single movie, including SNL. She was out and not in rehearsal. I think she’s not in a place to work.” Choices to play the role of Richard Burton have come down to Gossip Girl star Matthew Settle, Sean Maguire, and CSI hunk Craig Robert Young, but after watching the audition tapes last weekend, “Lindsay declared that none of the actors were the right fit and that she wanted to go to London to look for a possible Burton actor there,” a production insider tells RadarOnline.com. “Lindsay is being an absolute nightmare about who should play Burton. She believes Matthew Settle is too old to play the role, and she wants a major A-list star to be her co-star. However, her salary for the role took up a major portion of the budget, and the Burton gig will likely only pay $200k, max. The producers don’t need to get Lindsay’s approval of who will play Richard Burton, but they want to keep her happy.” Making matters worse, is that filming is slated to begin in just a few short weeks, and they are no closer to signing an actor to play Burton. “They are already in pre-production and it’s very hard to conduct any rehearsals without the pivotal role of Richard Burton,” the source says. “There is also cause for concern because Lindsay partied all night last week with Paris Hilton, Barron Hilton and Brandon Davis. All three, including Lindsay, have been arrested for DUI and/or drug charges previously. Lindsay shouldn’t be out partying all night long, no good can come of that.” So will Lohan get her wish to jet across the pond to find her ideal Richard Burton? “Hell no!” The source says. “There just isn’t any money in the budget, or time, to do so. The producers will try to land someone that Lindsay likes, but, if push comes to shove, they will just cast the role without her approval.” [ From Radar ] “Matthew Settle, Sean Maguire, and CSI hunk Craig Robert Young” ???? OK, I only know one of those dudes, I had to look the other two up. I mostly know Matthew Settle because of Band of Brothers (he was so awesome in that), but he’s on Gossip Girl now. He’s really hot – very sexy, in my opinion, and an underrated actor. So, obviously, he should stay FAR AWAY. Sean Maguire is the Meet the Spartans guy. He’s a comedic actor for the most part. Which kind of fits, because Liz & Dick will end up being a cracked-out comedy classic. At least this guy is English (although Burton was Welsh, which is not the same difference). Craig Robert Young is…zzz…. Um, he looks nothing like Richard Burton! WTF? So, basically, Lindsay is treating this Lifetime project as yet another platform to act like a crackhead diva, and she can’t get it through her crack skull that any actor of any kind of quality wouldn’t want to touch this project with a ten-foot pole. Photos courtesy of WENN.

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Lindsay Lohan rejected the half-decent actors auditioning to play Richard Burton

It’s been over a year since I’ve bothered to watch “Glee,” and I honestly didn’t make an exception for Lindsay Lohan’s much-anticipated “performance” last night. Judging from the clip I just saw on Evil Beet (included here, below), which was almost all of her guest segment, I’m glad I didn’t. As we’ve heard, Lindsay was a massive diva on the Glee set . She was six hours late on set, she didn’t bother to learn her lines ahead of time, and she kept flitting out to her trailer to presumably do lines smoke. For all that trouble, you would think Lohan would still be capable of a small glimpse of the greatness expected from her at the beginning of her now-over career. She didn’t seem to be. She delivered her lines with about the same conviction and breadth she showed on Saturday Night Live, that’s to say, not much. This is what happens when people are blitzed out of their skull for years, they suck at the job they used to know and do well. Here’s an editorial from The Washington Post on Lindsay’s big appearance on Glee. A “comeback” it was not. “Is there anything better than someone making a comeback?” Lindsay Lohan, playing the role of Lindsay Lohan, asked that question — wink, wink — during tonight’s second hour of “Glee.” She also reminded us that she’s a twelve-time Teen Choice Award nominee and is in full-on “image rebranding mode,” which, of course, is why she agreed to do a guest appearance on the Fox series in the first place. So how did she do? Well, after all the hoopla about her appearance in tonight’s episode, it was disappointing to only have her included for such a short period of time. Specifically, the two minutes and 46 seconds required for her to do her one big scene with fellow guest stars Rex Lee and Perez Hilton. (Note: that almost-three-minute period did not include the moment pictured above , when she stood up at nationals and waved.) Honestly, I spent more minutes reading about how Lohan allegedly showed up late to the “Glee” set than I did actually watching her on “Glee.” Still, she was given a couple of semi-amusing lines. “I show up here and there isn’t even a red button I can push and a chair that can spin me around where I can then point at a kid onstage and say, ‘I want to work with you’?” she complained in a blatant reference to ”The Voice.” “I’m seriously firing my manager.” And she delivered those lines adequately, although, as was the case when she recently hosted “Saturday Night Live,” she didn’t necessarily sell them. She was helped by the fact that she shared screen time with Hilton, who was totally irritating and used every opportunity possible (with an assist from the “Glee” writers) to promote his blog. Then again, a person can never see the words LILO ALERT in a hot-pink, all-caps font nearly enough, can she? In conclusion, on the “Glee” cameo appearance spectrum, Lohan was not in anything resembling the same league as Gwyneth Paltrow and Kristen Chenoweth, but not nearly as annoying as Perez Hilton. Her image probably hasn’t been rebranded, but it also hasn’t been tarnished either. So … mission accomplished? [From The Washington Post's Celebritology , author Jen Chaney] I agree with Chaney that Perez was somewhat annoying. I don’t want to come down too hard on the guy because he’s not a professional actor and you do have to acknowledge how far he’s come in his career. Lohan has fallen farther, though. If she would have even tried, if she would have even shown up on time, tried to muster up some semblance of humility, maybe she would have earned more screen time on Glee. This is the story of her career for the past handful of years, though. She screws up every. single. chance. she’s given. Is it any wonder she screwed up this one? I don’t even think the Cracken cares at this point. After years of drug abuse, she’s so messed up it’s hard to even put our “regular people” standards on her. She doesn’t show up to work, she has to go to jail to be reminded to do some simple community service, ad nauseum. She probably thought she was ahead of the game by even getting there and managing to be relatively sober-ish. Photo credit: FameFlynet

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How did Lindsay Lohan do on Glee? Is she having a “comeback”?

If anyone screams “WHO?” in the post, there will be harsh consequences. Aishwarya Rai is one of the biggest stars in India – she’s the Angelina Jolie of Bollywood. Here is her IMBD . She’s gotten some attention in the UK and the US as well, notably some beauty contracts and some roles in Hollywood films here and there ( The Pink Panther 2, The Last Legion ). She married Abhishek Bachchan in 2007, and she gave birth to their first child, a daughter, last November. I’m including our most recent photos of her, from France in May and June of 2011 – she was pregnant then, but she was barely showing. Rai did gain a significant amount of weight during her pregnancy, and now she’s being bashed for not losing the weight fast enough. You should go look at this recent photo of her – someone caught a photo of her double chin. So… it’s a thing now. Someone put together this video (complete with elephant sounds) and people are really pissed off. She is a former Miss World, a successful Bollywood star and married to the son of one of India’s best-loved stars. She found international fame in the Hollywood film Bride and Prejudice, and Julia Roberts billed her as the world’s most beautiful woman. Thanks to the notoriety such fame and fortune has brought her, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan has become one of the most admired and revered women in India, and indeed the world. But such fame has come at a cost for the 38-year-old star. Since the birth of her daughter in November last year, Aishwarya Rai has been open about the fact that she is in no hurry to lose the few extra pounds she gained during her pregnancy. The model and actress, who won the Miss World title in 1994, defended her choice, saying she wanted simply to ‘enjoy motherhood.’ But with the star, who married Abhishek Bachchan, the son of India’s most loved film star Amitabh Bachnan in 2007, tipped for her 10th appearance at Cannes next week, furious speculation is mounting as to how she will look. Commentators have been unkind, lambasting the star for letting her fans down. Many have gone a step further, suggesting the star has a ‘duty’ to her fans to regain her pre-pregnancy figure. One website posted a video of the star looking less than her usual svelte self, flicking between photographs of her pre-birth, and photos now. Called ‘Aishwarya Rai’s shocking weight gain’, the clip, which came accompanied by elephant sound effects, has been seen more than 500,000 times. Dozens more videos in a similar vein have been posted, each with viewing figures in the tens or hundreds of thousands. Comments left after the video prove that many of those watching have little sympathy for Aishwarya. ‘She is a Bollywood actress and it is her duty to look good and fit,’ one said. Another added: ‘She needs to learn from people like Victoria Beckham who are back to size zero weeks after their delivery.’ It has opened up a debate in the country, and beyond, about the attitudes held towards women in the public eye. ‘Aishwarya is like a goddess,’ said showbusiness columnist Shobhaa Dé in the New York Daily News by way of explanation. ‘She is held up as the ideal of beauty and so there is an expectation on her to look perfect at all times. The role models being held up are Angelina Jolie and Victoria Beckham, but our body frames are different – we have wider hips and curves – so this whole business of looking desperately skinny two weeks after giving birth is a western import.’ Cinema professor Shohini Ghosh added that women in India were up against an almost impossible task. ‘There is a glorification of motherhood in India and Indian cinema,’ he told the paper. ‘But people are confused because they don’t know whether to glorify Aishwarya in her new motherhood or lament that she is not looking like a runway model.’ [From The Mail ] For the love of God. She’s not even that much bigger – she just looks like a petite woman who hasn’t taken off her baby weight yet. As for the whole “people are imposing Western values on the traditional Indian body type” – I have mixed feelings about that too. Rai is so popular internationally because – in my opinion – she does look like a very Anglicized Indian woman. She’s made a career out of her borderless beauty, so let’s not ring the “this is how all Indian women look” bell too hard. But yeah – give her a break. She’s a first time mom and Jesus (Krishna?), stop making it into a thing. Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

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Aishwarya Rai criticized for not losing her postpartum baby weight fast enough

Call me out-of-touch, because I’ve never heard any of the (seemingly widespread?) rumors that Raven-Symone could possibly be a lesbian. Apparently, people have been saying it for years. And now The Enquirer – the go-to tabloid for outing celebrities against their will – reports that Raven-Symone is not only a lesbian, but she’s currently in a relationship with a woman. And Raven is fighting with her family about all of it! FORMER “Cosby Show” cutie RAVEN-SYMONE’s fam­ily is furious that she’s fallen in love with another woman and has moved the sexy model into her home, say sources. Lesbian rumors have hounded the talented 26-year-old actress for years, and as recently as 2008 she denied them, stating: “It’s false that I’m dating a girl right now.” But sources close to Raven say she’s gay and has shacked up with AzMarie Livingston, the androgynous beauty recently seen on “America’s Next Top Model.” The two are living together in Raven’s luxury $11,000-a-month New York City condo. “Raven has lost almost 30 pounds, has done a whole image makeover, and now she is the star of ‘Sister Act’ on Broadway,” said a close source. “She’s at a point now where she doesn’t care what her family thinks, and she’s in love with AzMarie. She’s a lesbian and wants to live that way. She feels her parents are still trying to treat her like she’s a kid, and she’s told them she’s going to do what she wants.” And that includes Raven maintaining her own love-nest apartment with her 24-year-old girlfriend, say insiders. Best remembered as Olivia, the adorable 3-year-old on “The Cosby Show” in the late ’80s, the talented entertainer went on to star in the Disney Channel series “That’s So Raven.” She’s also appeared in “The Cheetah Girls” TV movies. “Raven has hidden being gay for a long time now,” said the source. “But about a year ago, she was introduced by a friend to AzMarie, who is absolutely gorgeous. “The two began seeing each other, and a few months ago, Raven finally got the nerve to ask her to move into her lavish Manhattan condo. When her family found out, they blew their stack and it’s created a gay scandal for Raven.” “She told her parents she loves them, but her home – especially her bedroom – is nobody’s business, and she was not going to back down, so they needed to accept it, period.” [From The National Enquirer ] One of the most startling things to me is that Raven-Symone is only 26 years old? Wow. Anyway, I tend to believe this. I think The Enquirer wouldn’t be running with this story, framing it in this way without some big, off-the-record confirmations from someone close to Raven. As for AzMarie – she IS beautiful. And I think they make a lovely pair. They should totally get married. Oh, and Raven really has lost some weight – she looks really good! She looked good before too, I thought. Photos courtesy of WENN, Archive images of AzMarie.

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Enquirer: Raven-Symone is a lesbian and she’s living with her model girlfriend

Our favorite party girl Lindsay Lohan was out buying furniture at Kreiss with a camera crew following close behind in West Hollywood, CA this afternoon (May 15). The 25-year-old actress looked pretty as she browsed the store in floral printed shorts and a black top while seeming casual in front of the cameramen. In other news, the red-headed star is making her big debut on “Glee” tonight and recently tweeted, “Hope everyone tunes into #Glee tonight!!!!!!!” Her television co-star Perez Hilton chimed in on the upcoming episode with MTV saying, “I’m on ‘Nationals,’ a very important episode, and Lindsay Lohan is also on this episode,” Hilton told MTV News. “And it’s a nail-biter. Everybody has to watch.” When asked about Miss Lohan’s apparent tardiness he added, “I showed up to set early and prepared and was very happy to be there and professional, excited and appreciative for the opportunity.”

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Lindsay Lohan’s Big "Glee" Debut Tonight!

These are some photos of Lindsay Lohan in NYC last week, after her disastrous appearance at the A&E Upfronts on Wednesday . While her crack face doesn’t look as horrendous here as it did on the red carpet, that’s still a ridiculously jacked face. HER LIPS. I need to stop talking about her lips. I need to un-see them. As far as I know, we’re just a few weeks away from the start of Lifetime’s Liz & Dick production. I don’t know what we can expect – will Lindsay be too cracked-out to even show up for work on time? Will she (gasp) get her act together enough that she shows up… for the first week at least? Unknown. What I do find interesting is that Dina Lohan, our own Mother Crackie, is back to giving interviews about her darling crackie daughter. Speak on, Enabler: Dina tells Access Hollywood that LL is “very prepared… She’s so excited to do this and it’s such an honor to play Liz Taylor.” Dina also thinks there are “so many similarities” between Elizabeth Taylor and the Cracken because “the tabloids, they attacked [Liz] as well… She’s really learned a lot, she’s grown up a lot.” My favorite quote, though, is when Dina accidentally calls LL’s years-long crack shenanigans a “demise”. Dina says, “This town is tough… Lindsay is 25, so it’s for her to talk about her demise, or whatever was going on at the time. I felt as a mother, yes, I’m going to protect my children publicly, privately, I kick their butts. I’m a single mom, of course I do!” DEMISE?!? I can’t believe Dina used that word. In other LL news, Page Six had this funny story on Sunday: Lindsay Lohan made an unexpected demure appearance at the VC Gallery at Dream Downtown for artist Domingo Zapata’s “Life Is a Dream Exhibition” Thursday night. The actress — featured in a work by the artist, who depicted her as Eve and surrounded her with semi-biblical banter before selling the work to a British collector for $100,000 — arrived on time and spent just under an hour chatting to Zapata and hotel owner Vikram Chatwal before leaving via an underground exit to avoid “waiting paparazzi,” even though there no one was waiting. Zapata, who has studios in Chelsea and at Hollywood’s Chateau Marmont, told us: “The light is great in LA, and the hotel’s history gives me great inspiration . . . but sometimes there is too much of a party there, and I have to change the locks to keep certain people out.” Zapata said he’s working on a series of starlet portraits, including Sofia Vergara, Pamela Anderson, Michelle Rodriguez and Kim Kardashian, that he will show in 2014. [From Page Six ] What is the deal with LL and Vikram Chatwal? I still don’t get it. Is LL just escorting or does she not even bother charging him for her services, just because Vikram gives her something more important than money – access and drugs? I also love the part about LL’s crack paranoia about being photographed and how there were no paps following her. Last thing – LL tweeted this old photo of herself, Ali and Michael Jr. What does LL think when she looks at a photo like this? Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News and LL’s Twitter.

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Dina Lohan thinks Lindsay Lohan & Elizabeth Taylor were very similar

Dita Von Teese : “ I have come to realize that I am hetero, which I personally think is unfortunate ” [ Celebs ] Mindy Kaling’s sitcom got picked up by Fox [ Jezebel ] Worst celebrity body hair blunders [ Radar ] Adele tweets that she’s not engaged [ Amy Grindhouse ] Katherine Heigl shops for fabric [ INFDaily ] Orangutans communicate with iPads [ LimeLife ] Courtney Stodden bakes in a bra – with her mom [ Videogum ] Long Island Hot Dog ‘Ho is back in business [ Bossip ] Nina Dobrev demonstrates her flexibility on Conan [ Seriously? OMG! WTF? ] Courtney Love says Lindsay Lohan is coming to her house to chant [ INO ] Carmen Electra calls off engagement in time to star on that dating show [ L&S ] And of course Carmen Electra did a bikini photo op to celebrate [ Hollywood Rag ] Tara Reid in a patriotic bikini [ Celebslam ] This video is a sad example of why same sex marriage needs to be legal [ PopBytes ] Global Giving’s Mother’s Day campaign [ CityRag ] Water.org’s Mother’s Day campaign, featuring mad Matt Damon [ Water.org ] American Idol’s final four [ Bitten and Bound ]

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“Dita Von Teese says she’s hetero, but has lesbian fantasies” links

Yesterday, Bedhead, CB and I were talking about our horoscope signs and I found out that I, an anal retentive, logical, anti-drama Virgo, am currently working with two Pisces. I don’t want to ascribe any negative traits to Pisces girls, so I’ll just repeat the essence of what Bedhead said: Pisces are drama queens. And that includes Rihanna, who has been tweeting lots of crazy stuff about her Pisces sign and how she’s “submissive” and all of that. As Bedhead discussed yesterday, Rihanna has been partying HARD lately. She’s always been a fun, crazy party girl, but it’s gotten a bit excessive lately. Star Magazine has Rihanna’s hard partying on their cover this week too. So, here’s the question: why does it seem like Rihanna has gone off the rails recently? Is it about Chris Brown? The answer: probably. After c ollaborating with Chris on two songs a few months ago and refusing to explain her continuing relationship with Chris in interviews, it now seems like Rihanna and Chris may have had a falling out. Rihanna has just “unfollowed” Chris on Twitter! It seems Rihanna has finally had enough of Chris Brown … the singer has “unfollowed” her ex-boyfriend on Twitter after he released a new diss track that appears to be aimed at her. The song in question is a remix of Kanye’s TheraFlu — in which Brown freestyles the verse, “Don’t f*ck with my old bitches … like a bad fur … every industry n*gga done had her.” He continues, “Trick or treat like a pumpkin … just to smash her.” Hours after Brown released the track last night, Rihanna stopped following Brown on Twitter — a HUGE move — and one that’s leading many to assume Rihanna believes the verse is about her. A short time later, Brown unfollowed Rihanna. We reached out to Rihanna’s rep — so far, no comment. [ From TMZ ] Those lyrics are awful and disgusting. Hopefully every one of his followers “unfollow” him, but of course they won’t. Because Chris’s supporters are absolutely the stupidest people ever . I do suspect that those lyrics were the straw that broke the camel’s back for Rihanna, although I also think she was probably pretty primed to have a falling out with Chris before that. Chris recently got a tattoo of his girlfriend’s face – Karrueche Tran’s face. Rihanna has been taunting Karrueche on Twitter for a while , and I kind of believe that Rihanna thought Chris preferred her over Karrueche, and the tattoo “proves” that he doesn’t. And I can’t believe it’s even gotten this f–king far, really. Like, I can’t believe we’re still talking about Chris Brown and Rihanna in the same story. These two people should have had nothing to do with each other since March 2009. Photos courtesy of WENN.

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Did Rihanna ‘unfollow’ Chris Brown on Twitter after hearing his latest song?

She may only be 25-years-old, but judging by her appearance at this New York event last night, Lindsay Lohan’s youthful looks seem to be disappearing.  The actress sported dark eyebrows and a bit of a blotchy fake tan at the television upfronts event for the A&E US network.  The Mean Girls star did look good in her black and gold lacy mini dress and spiky heels though.

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Lindsay Lohan Appears Older Than Her Years at NYC Event